Genesis 2:18
And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
Genesis 2:21-24
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh
Marriage is to be one man for one woman for life-not a man and a man or a woman and a woman. God made a man and a woman-not a man and a man!
After understanding the basics for marriage, now arises the question of divorce. What would be God's answer to it. Let us analyse.
Divorce
Mathew 19:4-6
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Malachi 2:15-16
But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “ For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,”Says the LORD of hosts. “ Therefore take heed to your spirit,That you do not deal treacherously.”
Essentials in a Marriage.
1. Christ should be the head of the home
2. Commitment and Understanding
3. Building of trust and Confidence
4. Openness of heart and emotions
5. Everlasting and unconditional Love
Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The word love mentioned in these verses are the unconditional or God kind of love. The Greek word for this love is mentioned as "agape" which means unconditional love, a love which is no way earned or deserved. Husband and wife are considered a single body by God and the only force binding them is this Love.
HOW TO AVOID DIVORCE IN MARRIAGE
Consider the following views and try one at a time.
1.It’s true that we have an innate need to be loved for who we are and not for how we look or what we do. We crave being loved without earning it in any way. But it’s also true that shallow standards of beauty imposed by our world are ridiculous and unfair, leading some to do foolish things to their bodies or psyches. What do we do now?
If you feel that you no longer love your spouse because of his/her physical appearance then,
a) Be honest about all your emotions and speak them to your spouse. It’s not your heart that holds you back; it’s your physical senses.
b) The attributes that used to trigger your passion are gone. Do not rely on emotions as they change with time and situation. Take a decision to love a person irrespective of how they are.
c)If you would have seen the same person and loved them when they are overweight, dark and so on, the feelings now arising in you would not diminish your love rather increase them. Feelings are momentary, but they are real. Feelings cannot be stopped but can be converted to positive nature.
If you work on this together, with honesty and openness, you will bring passion back into your marriage.
Some of the most common reason for frustration in marriage are:
1. Breakdown in communication
2. Spending less time with each other
3. Diverting attention to other things to forget tension at home
1.It is very essential to let the communication go through to your spouse. The real emotions and feelings are to be let out in love. There would be a large scope of preventing a disaster in this kind of an environment rather than prescribing medicines for the emotions to heal later. Let your spouse know your likes, dislikes, love, hate after all they are a part of you. You cannot/should not hide yourself from you.
2. Set aside time for your spouse. They need to be in your presence to feel your love and warmth. The more you spend time together the less will be the feelings of fear, misunderstanding, disrespect and neglect. Do not bring office work to home. Some case it might compel you, explain it to your wife and seek co-operation without bossing over. Go for outing to open places, lonely places and long visited places. Revive the love and intimacy very often.
3.Face the problems immediately. Do not run away. The more you delay, the more complex they become. Time does not heal problems. Courage and sound mind does. Remove all misunderstanding and fear out of your spouse as soon as you can. Assure your spouse of your unconditional love.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
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